if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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