Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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