my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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