I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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