You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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