You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
