Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
