I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
