Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
