feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the day after is always just damage control
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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