if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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