We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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