just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
