belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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