She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
