Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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