Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
