I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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