Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
