u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize