Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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