North Korea, Best Korea!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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