he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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