My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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