Porn is love you can see.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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