I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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