Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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