Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize