Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
