i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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