What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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