I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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