I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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