So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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