Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
