dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
