I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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