I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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