Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
