Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
