some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
