i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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