So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
