**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
