It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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