If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize