Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize