Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
