The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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