I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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