he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
