I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize