And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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