Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
