The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
