i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize