I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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