We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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