Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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