Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
