anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
