my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
