there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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