What did we do last night that was yellow?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
