perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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