Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize