"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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