I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just want nice things and good sex
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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