Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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