Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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