you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
