hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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