Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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