I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
