i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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